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Name: Conservative Soldier
Location: Hinsdale, IL
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Un-American Airlines

By: The Conservative Soldier

We're about to be pushed back, almost on time, from a gate at RDU International in North Carolina the other day when The Captain, in his best I-am-a-Senior-Pilot-with-a-vault-full-of-worthless-stock-options tone, announces we'll be delayed.

Why the delay? Conservatives, of course.

North Carolina's iconic conservative, Sen. Jesse Helms, died on the 4th of July. Not a Yankee Doodle, but a dandy for sure. His funeral was July 8 in Raleigh. An hour or so before the departure of our Chicago flight, Vice President Dick Cheney jetted into RDU aboard Air Force Two (a winglet-enhanced Boeing 757) to pay his respects to Sen. Helms.

As Air Force Two descended into RDU, the airspace in the vicinity was sealed, leaving planes such as our American MD80 in a holding pattern. As soon as VP Cheney was off the tarmac and headed to the Helms service, the airspace was re-opened and a number of flights were vectored for landing.

As the pilot explained, all of these planes came in at once instead of at their normal staggered times. (A few minutes is staggered, apparently). We would be delayed 30 minutes because the luggage from the inbound flight was still in the belly of our MD80 even though the passengers had long ago assembled in baggage claim. While they paced, we sat, for even more than 30 minutes. All of the incoming luggage finally came off, followed by the loading of the outbound luggage.

Over the PA, Disgruntled Senior Pilot suggests there was not sufficient ground crew to handle the onslaught of incoming flights (all three or four of them). "If you want to complain," he added, "I guess you can write a letter to the Vice President."

In any case, this Lib Hugging Un-American pilot had no chance at winning the Sound Bite of the Week award.

That prize already belonged to the pilot of Sen. Barack Hussein Obama's aircraft, an MD80 charter from the Midwest Airlines fleet. It made an unscheduled stop in St. Louis en route to Charlotte, N.C., on Monday because an emergency escape chute deployed in flight from the rear section of the aircraft.

The pilot explained the decision to put down in St. Louis by saying, "We detected a little bit of a controllability issue."

Apparently the Obama talking points people got to the pilot before he gave the honest answer, which would have been, "We didn't know if we could keep this massive, aging airliner, moving at 500 mph, from nose-diving into a Missouri cornfield, so we landed as quickly as possible."

Got to love that they had an emergency over the battleground state of Missouri. If I'm Sen. John McCain my first move is to get this ad on the air ASAP: "He tried to fly right over the Show Me State. Only a mid-air emergency compelled Sen. Obama to set foot on Missouri soil. Will Obama always wait for crisis before he reaches out to you?"

A lot of good material here.

Sen. Hillary Clinton had chartered the same aircraft before bowing out of the Democratic race. I think I 'd have flown commercial before loading my staff and the press corp onto that charter. Another judgment red flag against the Obamas, I say. Bill sits near the back of the plane, doesn't he? Isn't that where the youngest tenured female press sit? Who knows what buttons he was fiddling around with after a few vodka tonics.

And you had to love the fact that the emergency was set off by a rear escape chute deployment? Did someone in the Obama inner circle decide he'd had enough, right then and there (a la the infamous 1971 hijacker/thief D.B. Cooper, who "escaped" by parachuting from the rear stairs of a 727 over Washington state)? Was Obama trying to drop anti-McCain leaflets over the midwest? Were the sacks of multimillion-dollar campaign contributions they tossed in the back simply too heavy for the rear door mechanism to withstand?

We know that Midwest Airlines is famous for serving its commercial passengers freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in flight. So, presumably, the cookies on Obama's Monday flight to Charlotte were only half baked.

Need we say more?




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In Search of America's Steady Decline

By The Conservative Soldier:

We ventured off across America for Memorial Day weekend. Rather than go on complaining about the airlines, their attitudes and their soaring, shameless new fees, we simply boycotted them for a change. I placed all of my luggage in the back of a mid-sized German SUV, and, gleefully, did not charge myself for the second, third and fourth bags. Liberating, to be sure.

Driving 500+ plus miles from suburban Chicago to Nashville, Tenn., provides a pleasant reminder that gasoline, even at $4.00+ per gallon, is still pretty cheap, relatively speaking. In a mid-sized, 25 mpg German SUV, one can drive roundtrip to Nashville, more than 1,000 miles, for about $250 including lunch stops, or for around $83 per person in a family of three. What am I missing here? Is this excessive?

The real upside of taking to the road is that I am now able to credibly refute what many have suspected all along: that the mainstream/dinosaur/drive-by media has talked America into a recessionary, despairing mindset. According to the news readers and various wrist-wringing social commentators, everyone is “hurting”. The U.S. is a veritable Dust Bowl. Vacations are being canceled. Lives are turned upside down. And why? Need you ask? Because, you religion-clinging nit wits, the federal government and George Bush aren’t doing enough and don’t care about you. About us. All of us.

Out in America, from the farmlands of Indiana, to the rolling springtime beauty of Kentucky, to the vibrant music mecca of Nashville, this despair, this dark cloud, was not what we discovered during the Memorial Day weekend. Just by listening (Hillary, I believe, would say we’d accomplished a Listening Tour), I was encouraged that we are not in the Final Days, merely marking time until the Great Barack and the Empress Michelle rise to power and bring about sweeping CHANGE.

Out there across the fruited plain, I heard:

Local talk radio conversations focused on the gallantry and resolve of our American military, and expressions of great pride about what they have and will achieve in Iraq and Afghanistan and, if necessary, Iran.

Gasoline fueled vehicles zipping past. Transport rigs. Motorcycles. Huge RVs. SUVs. Pickups. America is still moving. Interstate 65 heading south was packed with folks heading to the Indy 500, or beyond, to the splendor of Old Kentucky thoroughbred farms, or to the sprawling Opryland Resort in Nashville.

Great country music, America’s music, performed before yet another full house at the Grand Ole Opry.

A congenial Tennessee-born bellman who said, “God Bless You”, when accepting his tip.

The buzz of hundreds upon hundreds of guests dining (and, yes, overdining), cocktailing, sun bathing, photographing, and celebrating inside the Opryland resort complex. Tickets for Sunday’s nearby General Jackson riverboat luncheon cruise and floor show nearly were sold out when I bought ours.

To the chagrin of the media lefties who desperately want to see our nation on the verge of economic collapse by Fall, just in time for Obamarama ‘08, my report from the road is that Americans are generally fat (frighteningly so) and relatively happy. Is everyone obscenely rich, paying for their fuel by peeling from a wad of 100s, ordering freely from the reserve wine list and partying with Paris Hilton? No. But, as we always do, Americans will persevere, work hard, love their kids and ride out whatever economic dips may come our way.

Why, on the General Jackson riverboat, the mostly average looking, middle class, predominantly senior folks, even applauded heartily for the live entertainment, the Peking Acrobats. I thought we’re all supposed to be honked off at the scheming Chinese for dissing the Dalai Lama and for consuming ever more gas and, thus, driving crude oil barrel prices through the roof?

We’re supposed to be a nation overpopulated by angry, economically ravaged, coupon clipping, war weary people who have canceled all leisure activities and parked our cars for good. Believe the media drum bangers, or treat yourself to a $100 tank of gas and go have a look at what’s really happening out there.
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